keep calm and it's gonna be totally awesome

10. (ten songs on shuffle)

1. Hello Hurricane by Switchfoot

2. Smile - Lily Allen

3. Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

4. Lucky - Jason Mraz & Colbie Collait

5. Franklin- Paramore

6. One More Time- Daft Punk

7. Girls Freak Me Out- The Summer Set

8. Whoever She Is - The Maine

9. Each Day Gets Better - John Legend

10. Sing- MCR

9. How important is school to me

The honest truth: I love school. I get so much out of it. Not just curriculum wise, but in maturity as a person. 

STAY IN SCHOOL. SERIOUSLY. And it helps if you actually give a damn & try too..

8: what I ate (ha, that rhymes!)

• breakfast burritos
• a bear claw (like a donut)
• ice cream
• chips
• salsa
• meatballs
• spaghetti

7: pet peeves

6: views on mainstream music

Good for driving

Good for blasting

Good for working out

Good for being “normal” 

Good for singing (occasionally) 

NOT good for being truly artistic & creative. 

5. things I wanna say to an ex

Oh, this one’ll be interesting…. 

Dear you, 

Damn. I still love you. It’s weird, considering you as an ex. But you are. Technically. Really. You’re not mine. But at the same time, you’re not your own. Just like I’m not yours, yet I’m not free. 

People ask us all the time if we’re dating, or if they know anything, if we’re back together. I just shrug. Because, really, who knows? To everyone around us we’re definitely something. Your hand’s always in mine, or in other places, and your lips linger on mine before you say goodbye. I brush back your beach blonde hair and you move my long black locks so you can plant a kiss on the back of my neck. So it’s not, nothing. 

I mean, I should be completely satisfied. I thought I’d never get to have you look at me with that adoring smile ever again, and here we are, every school day, smiling at each other like idiots, in on an immature joke. You do things a good man should do, and more. You open doors for me, lend me your sweatshirt, always offer to either pay or buy me some food at swim meets. (And you know I love food) You always say I look beautiful even though I just came straight from morning practice and I look like poop; with no make up, sweats and an ice bag on my shoulder. In fact you even rub my shoulders and help me get through the pain. Yet we don’t do the things some couples do. You don’t text back, and I’m not allowed to get mad at you for that. We don’t go on dates, unless you count swim meets, but we’re obligated to be there. Anything that leads an obvious path to our relationship is out of the question. I’m afraid that one day your mom will open the one pocket in your backpack and find all the letters, some recent, some way back in our ignorance, that I’ve written to you. And she’ll know, not that we barely know what we are, not that I struggle with the facade constantly, but that we lie. And once again I’ll come between you and your family, breaking your trust of one another. 

Because more than anything, I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll eventually lose you again, this time for good. 

Sometimes, we talk about our future. Post high school. It’s abstract, of course, we’re not planning our lives. But God, it sounds glorious. I can see it, I actually can’t stop myself from picturing us as we do stereotypical middle class family stuff. I know it’s irrational, practically impossible, but I see it all. 

What I would give for just a day. A date even. Just you and me, alone in a sea of people. 

I love you more than anything else on this earth, and yet sometimes I miss you so much when you’re sitting right next to me with that sad look on your eyes, a shrug in your shoulders and an “I don’t know” forming on your lips. 

4: Bullet your day

• woke up
• woke up again when everyone else woke up
• pet roxy
• went to swim practice #1
• went to Nicole’s
• pet Sierra
• went to swim practice #2
• died. 
• came home
• died
• went to costco
• saw my 7th grade math teacher- ew. 
• came home
• complained about first world problems
• attempted to do homework
• ended up on facebook & tumblr instead. 

3: a book I love

Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes

I probably spelled that wrong, I haven’t read it in a while, but I read it freshman year and it totally struck a chord in me. A slap of harsh reality outside the OC bubble. And it was partially about swimming too so that helped. k cool.

2: things I feel strongly about

English and History (the humanities, basically) are essential to our society and for our progression.

Sure, you can be brilliant at science and math, and I’ll respect that. But if you’re a master of people, of an era, of literature? Then I’ll admire you. And more than that, I think language and the way we weave words together to give them meaning is beautiful.

“No doctrine is worth hurting your neighbor for”

NUMERO UNO: how to win my heart

It’s quite simply actually.

1. make me laugh

2. make me feel wanted & safe. Like I don’t have to pretend to be anything around you

3. be there for me when I fall to pieces

4. be intelligent

5. stay.